Bandwagon's full; please catch another

• Playing the Steel attack/defend map. On the ridge where there's a straight wall on one side and a gradual, zig-zag slope up the other, I'm at the bottom of the slope, as a Demoman, tossing grenades randomly over the top to try to create some chaos. (I never know how to approach this first point, so usually I just do whatever.) I'm on maybe my third round, when a RED Scout just suddenly pops up like a Whack-a-Mole target... right into the path of my grenade, which explodes on impact, taking him out. Dumb Scout is dumb.



• Playing 2fort as Pyro. I'm on my way into the intelligence room, and I decide to check the corner between the desk and the wall for an invisible Spy, because I know sometimes they like to hide there. Nothing. So I casually circle the room, and then decide to crouch down in that spot myself. THUNK. Space mysteriously occupied. One blast of the old flamethrower and we have one very dead, very embarrassed Spy.



• Playing the Granary control-point map, which features at the center four... big shipping containers (whatever you call 'em; they look like boxcars minus the chassis and wheels) in a loose square around the center control point, and a balcony on each end with a doorway leading into the buildings. For Snipers to stand on. I just went Sniper because we didn't have any, so I head up to that balcony and, finding the area mostly clear, jump onto one of the RED boxcars. Lo and behold, there is an engineer on each of the BLU ones, about to build something. They seem oblivious to my presence, so I scope in on one and headshot him. The other is still blissfully unaware, so I scope in and headshot him too! Feeling quite proud of myself, I hop back down... just in time for the sentry one of them had been building to finish coming together and kill me before I can even react. Funny in a "d'oh stupid me" sort of way, but funny nonetheless.

According to the latest numbers:



I should make a badge for people who have committed to making sites that validate and only contain W3C standard code, without all those quirks-mode hacks. How about WebSNOB for an acronym—Web Standards Not Outdated Browsers.

After all the nerd-hype about the Watchmen movie (including the kick-awesome Flash cartoon Harry Partridge made), I felt compelled to obtain access to the original comic book in some way and see for myself why the series is such a big deal. I wasn't sure how, exactly, as I wasn't really prepared to buy something I'd never seen before in a medium I'm usually not even into, and really didn't want to head down the hunt-for-torrented-scans-online route as that tends to lead to failure and viruses and is technically illegal. Even though I'd probably delete them later.

Then a random conversation with my mom re-alerted me to the fact that our library system happens to have comic books. I'd seen them before back in the days when I used to hunt for old collections of FoxTrot and Zits comics, but never paid them any mind because this was before I cared. It still seems kind of funny to me that a library would have comic books, but then they do also have movies, music, and Zits books, so why not. They don't have very many, though.

As it just so happens, Watchmen is in the system somewhere, so I placed a hold for it on their site today. I shall finally read, and understand.

Strangest thing just happened. I was looking at a banner ad that had the famous portrait of George Washington, you know, the one that's on the dollar bill...



...and I was musing on how, well, of COURSE he looks important with that powdered wig on, but how would he look without it, you know, like just an ordinary guy? So I mentally blocked out the wig and focused on just the face... the first thing that popped in my head was, "Holy crap, it's Patrick Stewart!"

I must be crazy.

After reading yet another page full of rants about Internet Explorer 6 and how it's not Microsoft's fault that so many people still use it... well, allow me to state that it is. It has to be; no other outdated browser has stuck around so long. There are a few possible explanatins for this, but my guess is that it's because Internet Explorer 7 and 8 have the most hideous, unintuitive interfaces of any Web browser ever.

( I elaborate on this. You don't care. )Microsoft knows they're up a certain creek, but it's not for lack of paddling—or perhaps "thrashing around like a drowning cat" is more accurate. Ads for IE8 are practically everywhere. Way more than you'd ever expect to see for a free software product that isn't secretly spyware or ad-supported or SOMETHING. (I'm guessing even their own Web designers are sick to death of having to support the old geezer.) They've even thrown so much weight behind 8 that they're trying to get users of 7 to upgrade. And, really, they have no real reason not to, either. (They'll probably start upgrading by default when Windows Update replaces it for them.)

But the real point I'm trying to get to is this: if Web developers keep making pages that work in IE6, users will never catch on that they need to upgrade. And if they never upgrade, Web developers will keep having to support it. The natural browser-upgrade cycle has been disrupted, and it's up to US to restore it. To that end, I am permanently removing all nonstandard code from my new Mandy site, and redirecting users of Internet Explorer 7 and below (yes, you read that right—remember, IE8 is allegedly standards-compliant; this is the moment we've been waiting for) to upgrade to something newer, complete with links.

And keep in mind, my site was almost 100% IE6-friendly to begin with. So I'm giving up quite a lot, here.

*Herein referring to all pre-XP versions.

Just finished installing a new garage door opener. (The old one's remotes both broke, and it's old enough you can't get replacements anymore.) It came with a two-part infrared thingie that you're supposed to mount just beyond the track, pointing inward, to detect objects in the way of the door. We've got so much junk in our garage that we can't put them where they're supposed to go, and we figured the opener wouldn't function without them, so we just mounted them up by the ceiling.

:effort:

:safetyfail:

Anyway... thing works now, but it lifts the door so fast it looks like it's about to just fly off the track and hit the opposite wall. Doesn't help that the door itself is so old and rickety, like it was never meant to move that fast. Oh, and the plastic knob on the end of the rope you use to disengage the door from the screw, so you can open and close it manually, seriously looks exactly like a mini Devo hat.

Finally got around to going to my dad's workplace and chopping the big sheets I drew my comics on into individual strips. I also cut thirty-some new blank strips, with the borders already penciled in. Gee, I guess I have to go back to writing comics now, huh? ;)

It seems like every time I find some low-priced gadget at a rummage sale, I end up having to spend twice as much to make it actually work. First it was the Nomad's battery, which I still haven't bought since I'm waiting for my aunt to order some stuff on Amazon to see if she can get a deal on combined shipping. Then today we found a TEAC CD changer/radio/turntable/dual tape deck combo stereo for $10, which I tested every component of (one nice thing about big rummage sales is you can usually find any additional items you need to test something, if you get there early enough) and it all worked fine. We got it because, while we already have too many stereos with radios, CD players, tape players, and one turntable at home, we're stuck with them all because no one unit has all four, and a few only partially work.

But I forgot to close the latch that secures the record arm, and... well, somewhere along the way, the head fell onto the turntable... which automatically started running when we switched the unit on at home... aaaaaand yeah. No more needle. But amazingly, our existing turntable (made by a completely different company and at least ten years older) just happened to have the exact same stylus, so I just performed a quick transplant and voila, one fully-working sound system and one older one that works somewhat less. Of course, we can't sell or donate the old turntable now, and that kind of defeats the purpose of buying the new sound system. Plus I can tell that stylus has been around for a while.

http://www.telltalegames.com/monkeyisland/

http://www.lucasarts.com/games/monkeyisland/

I think I just metaphorically jizzed my proverbial pants.

After using Windows 7 Release Candidate, I have reached a conclusion.

Remember those "Windows Mojave" commercials, where people who supposedly aren't paid actors are brought in to beta-test their "new" version of Windows, and decide that it's pretty good, only to be told that it's actually Vista? Windows 7 is that experiment all over again, only on a worldwide scale.

Hear me out, here. Vista is kind of like the Hillary Clinton of operating systems: it seems like everybody hates it, but very few can actually give an answer as to why. It's just gotten a stigma attached to it that it will probably never shake. It's not a bad operating system, really, at least from an end-user perspective. There are really only two major issues that Vista has, as far as I can tell: backwards compatibility (or rather the lack thereof) and being a huge resource hog.

( Long story short, neither one matters much. )

The real genius part was Microsoft's decision to release the pre-release editions to everyone, so that people, including those who heard the rumors about Vista and bought their new machines with XP SP2/3, could see for themselves what using Windows Mojave... I mean, 7, was really like rather than relying on what "people on the Interwebs" were saying about it. Why else would there be so much good press about it lately?

Too bad they probably won't be offering it for only $30.

Why do I love video game levels that put you in giant-sized worlds so much? I've been playing Team Fortress 2 on the Furry Pound's custom-map server, and I am seriously in love with two of the maps, Billiards and Bedrooms3.

Bedrooms3 is a standard control-point map set in a pair of houses, and you're about four inches tall. There's a living room, a bedroom, a kid's slide in the yard, and some ductwork you can walk through, all of it intricately designed. The center control point is in the median of the road between the houses.

Billiards is much simpler but even more brilliant: It's a custom-goal map where you're in a rec room with a pool table. The balls are red and blue, except for the eight ball which is black... and kills you if you touch it. You have to use your weapons to knock the gigantic balls into the pockets, and the first team to get all their color balls into the pockets wins the round. There's even a chalkboard on the wall that keeps score, which I didn't even notice the first time (it's pretty much unnecessary since you can see what's still on the table, but it was a nice touch).

Spent yesterday at Kennywood. It's a small-ish theme park with more emphasis on historical significance than super-intense rides, but that hasn't stopped them from having quite a few—the most insane of them all being one where you're strapped into a harness hanging on a cable from a several-hundred-foot pole, pulled up to the top of a second, equally-high tower a couple hundred feet away, and then released. As my dad observed and pointed out, you pretty much drop straight down about a third of the way before your own cable actually goes taught and catches you. Incidentally, people pay extra to do this, something they probably put in place to keep lines short, as it only holds up to three at a time.

As for me, I stuck with the traditional methods of obtaining vertigo, primarily the ancient wooden coasters, the Jackrabbit, the Racer, and the Thunderbolt. The Jackrabbit is very close to the entrance, so we all rode that one, at which point my dad and brother remembered that they hate rollercoasters and refused to ride any more of them. My mom and I ended up taking every wooden coaster twice because we had so much time to kill. The Thunderbolt probably has the best mix of features; the Racer is the tamest one, and the Jackrabbit is all about the big drops. And I found out something: screaming as you go downhill is not just something people do because they're excited or scared out of their minds. The G forces on the way down actually make my lungs kind of hurt if I don't expel the air that way.

There's also an indoor coaster, a nearly pitch black "wild mouse" called the Exterminator, but as good as it was, I really can't say it was worth it since the wait was over an hour (they disguise the length of the line by putting about half of it inside the ride building). They had one more, a humongous steel one called the Phantom's Revenge, and... well, call me a pussy if you like, but it was the fastest coaster in the world when it debuted and it's been "updated" since then, so... yeah, no. I am not a bad enough dude to ride that monster. Considering how bad the G forces were on those other drops, I'm honestly concerned that I might black out.

The midway was mostly eh. They had one of those car rides, and the swinging pirate ship, and bumper cars (which I had never seen up close; the entire ceiling is electrified and you can even see the sparks), and a few "flat rides" I couldn't see the point of (nor, apparently, could their non-existent riders). The only really good ride was the Paratrooper, although it looks a lot more wild than it really is.

It was an especially good day to go. Not too hot, or too busy (except around the Exterminator of course). It did rain a little towards the end, and a lot just after we left.

It probably says something about the U.S.'s opinion about Hispanics that the most well-known Spanish-language song in America is about a cockroach.

The following were winners in a New York Magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression.

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANÇAIS? — Can you drive a French motorcycle?
EX POST FUCTO — Lost in the mail
IDIOS AMIGOS — We're wild and crazy guys!
VENI, VIPI, VICI — I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.
COGITO EGGO SUM — I think; therefore I am a waffle.
RIGOR MORRIS — The cat is dead.
RESPONDEZ SIL VOUS PLAID — Honk if you're Scottish.
QUE SERA SERF — Life is feudal.
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI — The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM — Death styles of the rich and famous
PRO BOZO PUBLICO — Support your local clown.
MONAGE A TROIS — I am three years old.
FELIX NAVIDAD — Our cat has a boat.
HASTE CUISINE — Fast French food
VENI, VIDI, VICE — I came, I saw, I partied.
QUIP PRO QUO — A fast retort
ALOHA OY — Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.
MAZEL TON — Lots of luck
APRES MOE LE DELUGE — Larry and Curly got wet.
PORTE-KOCHERE — Sacramental wine
ICH LIEBE RICH — I'm really crazy about having dough.
FUI GENERIS — What's mine is mine.
VISA LA FRANCE — Don't leave your chateau without it.
ÇA VA SANS DIRT — And that's not gossip.
MERCI RIEN — Thanks for nothin'!
AMICUS PURIAE — Platonic friend
L'ETAT, C'EST MOO — I'm bossy around here.

Went to a rummage sale today. As usual, I didn't find any good CDs or videos. There was a pretty cool vintage toaster that looked to be from maybe the 1950s. Next to it was one of those little portable TVs you're supposed to use when the power goes out. It had a sticker on it boldly proclaiming "IT WORKS". I wished I had a blank sticker and a Sharpie handy so I could add "until June 12."

The electronics table had the usual assortment of fax machines (remember those? yeah neither do I), portable CD players, and VHS camcorders. And then I spotted a small Ziplock bag labeled "$5", containing a slab of plastic wrapped in a black vinyl pouch, accompanied by a pair of Creative brand earbuds. I thought, Radio maybe? and opened it.

Nope. MP3 player. So I'm like, Pssh, it can't possibly be working, can it? I hit the on button and, sure enough, nothing. I noticed it had the power adapter with it, though, so I headed to the nearest outlet and plugged it in. It powered on immediately. I quickly snapped the earbuds in, flipped through the menu (which to my pleasant surprise is very much like the iPod interface) and found a Barenaked Ladies song, and hit Play. Sure enough, the thing runs just fine on AC power.

Still haven't connected it to the computer yet; I'm trying to see if leaving it plugged in will charge it up. There's no way to turn it off, per se, just "lock" it, although the screen has gone off in the time it took to type this. With luck, all it needs is a new battery, and even if I have to grab one off Amazon or eBay, it's still a lot cheaper than the used 20 gig iPods I've been lusting after—and unlike iPods, this one's battery pops right out. Plus there's some music already on it, which I'm hoping didn't come from one of those subscription services that wipes the player if a non-subscriber tries to sync it.

90 degrees already. I seem to remember last summer being unusually mild for the most part; we barely used the air conditioner we had been so desperate to buy the year before. Looks like we won't have that same luck two years in a row. Bleh.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to make a pre-emptive public service announcement: Please do not take this impending scorcher as an opportunity make any "ha ha I'd like to see you try to refute global warming NOW" taunts at the significant right-winger in your life. Most of you are probably smarter than that, but I do keep hearing it all the time, even from my local news station (although that's not saying a lot, since local news "journalists" tend to be about as intelligent as a sack of beans), so... maybe someone within reach of this blog still needs a little lesson. Long story short, even Keith Olbermann, the bastion of unfettered liberalism in the mainstream news media, pointed out that saying hot weather is no more proof of climate change than cold weather is proof against it. Although he worded it the other way around, of course. It's a lot more complex than just "stuff getting hotter", and if your understanding of it is no more thorough than the guy you're picking an argument with, you're not really going to have any kind of edge over them.

If you're actually looking for material to debate with... This might be a good place to start. (Courtesy of TV Tropes, of all things.)

Ever since seeing Tirrel's progress video of his latest Flash cartoon, I've developed a certain fondness for "hamsterized" (or for the old-school among you, "chimpunkified") versions of songs, running some of my own music library through Audacity's pitch and speed filters and seeing what comes out. One of the more interesting results was on one song whose intro featured a guitar and synthesizer playing separate parts. On the original version, the synthesizer was clearly in the foreground, almost overwhelming the guitar; when tuned up, it was the other way around.

(No link at the moment because I still haven't figured out how to hook my host up to my domain.)

Some big banks sink a bunch of money into "high risk" loans: loans to people who have poor enough credit ratings that "sensible" bankers, once upon a time, would not even have considered giving the green light to. This is considered horrible money management, and nearly sends the banks responsible into bankruptcy.

Our government sinks even more money into "bailing out" these banks: loaning money to corporations that have a track record of managing money horribly and nearly bankrupting themselves. This is considered an excellent idea that couldn't possibly have any bad repercussions down the line.

Explain where I went wrong here.

You may or may not be familiar with Poe's Law, one of the so-called Rules of the Internet. I have my own genericized version that goes as follows:

Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from trolling.
Any sufficiently advanced trolling is indistinguishable from stupidity.

Of course, this only works if you define "trolling" as flamebaiting, posting statements you don't really agree with in order to get people to overreact. So let's assume that definition for the sake of argument. The key question is, given a post that could be one or the other for all you can tell, which to assume it is. If you treat it like it's trolling, and it isn't, an idiot will end up flailing around trying desperately to be taken seriously. If you treat it like it's genuine, and it isn't, a troll will end up flailing around trying desperately to not be seen as an idiot.

Assuming you hate both trolls and idiots, either of these results is favorable, possibly even more than if you turn out to be right. So how, then, do trolls and idiots still manage to derail conversations and cause trouble? This is what I'm stuck on.

Dear My Subconscious:

Hi, it's me, Steve, your boss. We haven't spoken in a while.

Now, I know yours is a thankless job; you dig through the tangled mess of thoughts and memories that is my mind and try to make sense of it all, and nobody ever gives you any credit. And I admit I haven't been the best employer; I've had a tendency to cut your hours, juggle your shift around, and even occasionally told you not to bother coming in at all. I also realize you have one of the stranger collections of thoughts to deal with (I understand you've been having to wear a hazmat suit to work ever since I signed up on FurAffinity). On the other hand, you're no longer expected to deal with calculus problems, history essays and IBM Assembler programs.

I understand that I should expect the occasional screw up, jerking me awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from some nightmare I barely even remember. But listen. When I go to bed early after an emotionally draining day, hoping a good night's rest will be theraputic, I do not expect to be subjected to such a depressing dream that I literally end up crying myself awake. What is wrong with you?

Can we make a deal? I promise that if we ever manage to achieve our goal of unraveling the secrets of the universe, and I get a multimillion book deal out of it, I promise to list you first and foremost in the dedication. Does that sound fair? I'll also see about getting you better work hours. I've been meaning to get to bed earlier these days anyway.

Remember, we're in this together. The sanity you save may be your own.